And then philosophical questions were irrelevant. More primal considerations took over. I found myself breathing heavily. Heart pounding. Followed by another pounding as I released. I felt the lip of the jar touch the top of me, and assumed the consummate experimentalist had it in just the right place.
I kept my eyes closed. Closed until the pumping stopped. Until I heard her voice saying it was over. I opened my lids to a room that was spinning. My legs gave way and I stumbled, breaking my fall with a hand on the bed.
“Martin! Are you OK?”
Then she was with me. Lifting me. Hugging me. Checking that I was OK. I saw the concern in her eyes.
“I’m OK. I’m OK. Was it…? Were you able to…?”
“The sample is fine. I’m more worried about you. Thank you. I know that must have been so difficult.”
Her voice dropped to a murmur.
“It was tough for me too.”
Suddenly I stopped being so unforgivably self-centered. I put my arms round her and squeezed tight.
“It’s OK, honey. This is the right thing to do. Sorry to make it so difficult.”
She wiped her tears away and was again the professional.
“Time is of the essence, Martin. If you are OK. Can I have some time alone?”
“Of course, Ava. Of course.”
I kissed her hair.
“But, Martin. Can you stay just outside. I think I’d like you to be near.”
“Sure, angel. Whatever you need.”
I clicked the door shut and leaned against it. In five minutes, I heard her voice.
“You can come in, Martin. I think I could do with an hug.”
I held her of course. We clung to each other for a long time.- – –DAY TWO
I had fallen asleep quickly. Not because I was peaceful. Just due to emotional and physical exhaustion. Oblivion was a welcome relief from the multitude of thoughts doing somersaults in my brain.
Then she was there. Lying in bed next to me, propped up on her elbow. Nude and impossibly lovely. Her long black hair brushing my skin. Her lips kissing my chest. Her hand on me. Hardening me. Gripping me. Her arm moving up and down in fluid strokes. Stokes like the ones from yesterday…
And then I was awake. Awake and sweating and bone hard. Suffused with feelings I had thought lost. If I was honest, suffused with feelings I had not experienced since the first few years with Vanessa. I wanted to do something about my raging erection. But I knew I had more important things to save myself for. I squeezed my glans firmly. Opening blood vessels. Deflating slowly. Calming.
I lay thinking. Ava’s face swimming before my eyes. Part of me was worried about what was happening. But the greater part felt warmth, and a soft fuzziness. I told myself to not overthink things. That a beautiful woman jerking you off was going to have a lasting effect. I told myself it was no big deal. I am not a good liar, but it helped me to get back to sleep.- – –
I woke late. Given I was working from home the next two days, it was no big deal. I was hard again. Not as adamantine as after my dream, but morning wood. Not something I had really had to deal with since my mid-forties. Again, I calmed myself.