With that, she turned and walked to her room, looking back at me not once, but twice.
When Ava’s door closed behind her, I turned and made for my own bed.- – –DAY THREE
I had a warm feeling as I drifted naturally to sleep. As I teetered on the edge of unconsciousness, Josh and Vanessa’s faces appeared. Together. Serene. Smiling at me. I knew it was just my own psyche. My own psyche trying to protect me. But it was comforting nevertheless. I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
At breakfast, something was on Ava’s mind.
“Martin, first of all, I know what a big thing you are doing for me. I know it’s strange and it must be difficult. But you make me feel that you are putting my needs first. Looking after me. I don’t mean in some stupid white knight way, just that you really care. I like that feeling.”
“I’ll always do my best to look after you, honey. Whatever else happens, you can rely on me.”
“I know. And that makes me feel that maybe this crazy thing we are doing is possible. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. It’s not as if it’s a chore…”
I was worried I had overstepped a mark. But she smiled.
“No. It’s bizarre. Anyone would say it’s bizarre. But it’s also been… nice. Nice is the wrong word. You have been wonderful.”
Ava walked round the table. Leaned towards me, her hands on the back of my chair, her face close to mine. For a moment, I was simply lost in her eyes. Then she smiled. Smiled openly and naturally and tenderly. She bent to kiss me on the lips, her hands now cupping my face. Her embrace was like a sharing of souls. She left me physically and emotionally breathless.
Her hands still on my cheeks, she spoke softly.
“I didn’t mean to just abandon you last night. But… I feel we are in the middle of this. I’m also… I’m figuring out stuff. Is that OK?”
A look of confusion clouded her brow.
“Ava, it’s all OK. There is nothing to worry about.”
She released my face and kissed my cheek. Now more cursory, but not without sweetness.
“Great. So, five? Third time’s the charm.”
“Let’s hope so.”
We both had work to do. I was able to get more things done. Maybe I was adjusting to what any external observer would characterize as a warped reality.
Ava suggested we get lunch out. There was a café a short distance away. She held my hand as we walked there. She looked beautiful in the Summer sun. Her plain linen dress floating around her as she moved. I felt a lightness that I had not experienced in a very long time.
Over lunch, we talked about this and that. Her work, how Sophia had grown. Normal stuff. As we walked back, Ava took my hand again. In the distance, I saw Mrs. Spinetti, a neighbor. I made to drop Ava’s hand, but she gripped it. She pulled me closer to her side.
“Hi, Martin. Hi, Ava. My, Ava, you look lovely today. Nice to see some color in your cheeks.”
“Hi, Maria. Thank you. The sun helps.”
I didn’t say a word, but smiled. Mrs. Spinetti patted my arm and went on her way. And that was that. Ava squeezed my hand and we walked home. I was quiet, lost in my thoughts.- – –