“No! Fuck that, man, she cheated on you. And you know, despite what she said, it wasn’t just the one time, you know that. You need some strange, brother. Something to reinvigorate you. No matter what happens with you and Theresa, you need to remember that you’re a man, and be reminded of what it’s like to conquer something new. It’s too bad you couldn’t get that girl’s number.”
“Where’d you get that bullshit? Dr. Phil?”
“Hey, fuck you, buddy. I’m just trying to help you out here, and I’m being sincere. It may sound a little odd, but I really think it’d help. It’ll clear your mind, and get your mojo back.”
“I’m not doing that. Not with some random girl on a trip.”
“Who better than that?!” he asked incredulously.
“I dunno, maybe I’ll call a hooker or something.”
“Nah, that doesn’t mean anything. You’re just buying it, so there’s nothing there. You need a conquest, a real one. Whether you’re chasing her or vice versa, bro, you gotta fuck something new, and preferably something young. Something unmarred by childbirth and age.”
“Hey, Theresa looks damn good for a woman that’s had three kids.”
“Oh, for sure. Hell, if she weren’t your wife I’d hit it. But you know as well as I do that there’s nothing like something young and firm.”
“Anyway, it’s not important. I’m not doing it.”
“You telling me if you ran across that redhead right now, you wouldn’t fuck her brains out?”
“Actually, I ran into her a couple hours ago at the hotel gym.”
“No shit!? So, you get her number?”
“No, I turned on my heel and walked out.”
“Pussy!”
“Yeah, maybe so. But I’m not going to stoop to Theresa’s level or give her an opening to take the kids and half of my shit.”
“Whatever, bro. You know as well as I do that the chances of that are pretty slim, especially this far from home. But in the interim, just relax. Try and loosen up a bit. Even if you don’t fuck the little redheaded sexpot, you could talk to her, or some other girl. Maybe have a drink with some local sassy little Aussie beauty while you’re out here. Let the hair down a bit. It’s all good here, we’re on a working vacation, after all.”
“I just don’t know about that.”
“I know. Just think about it, for fuck’s sake. You need to lighten up a bit. Leave the bullshit behind back in the states, and enjoy this trip.” I thought about countering him, but instead I chewed my waffle and fruit, mulling over what he had said.
We spent the rest of the day alternating between a bit of sightseeing, and catching up on work and correspondence. Even though I was ostensibly out of office, it seemed there were always things that needed my attention, and I approved changes and responded back to a litany of queries from my software developers and testers. As the day got later, I logged into Skype, and took a video call with my family. Emily, my 13-year-old, had sensed some tension between her mother and me, though she hadn’t figured it all out. The twins were still eight and too young to know what was going on, luckily. However, though I had 30 very fun minutes with them where they all told me about their days, some movie they had seen last night, and a whole host of other stuff, it seemed telling that when Theresa got me to herself, she was almost businesslike, perfunctorily telling me about some household items and pediatrician visits that were upcoming. Finally, after a couple of minutes, she stopped, and said “Hey, I have to go, they’re begging for breakfast. Love you,” before quickly switching the connection off. I was a bit struck by her abruptness—I wasn’t sure at all what was happening between us, and her actions seemed rather telling. I glanced up and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. While it wasn’t a dramatic, movie of the week type moment, I felt a little deflated. I was supposedly in the prime of my life, still physically attractive, intelligent, and financially successful. Plus, to add insult to injury, I knew, from every single girl I had ever been with that I was possessed of a very nice, large piece of equipment, and here I was, in a celibate marriage that may, in fact, be loveless. I was angry, and felt defeated. I felt like I was too young to cash in my chips now, but really had no idea what to do.