“Hi,” I greeted. “I have a serious question I need to ask. My lover and I were having sex. In the heat of the moment, I misjudged and went into her … her anus. She is bleeding. What do I need to do?”
“It sounds like you tore her anal tissue, sir. Bring her in if you like, but she more than likely just needs rests as opposed to stitches.”
“So, she should be alright?”
“It will pain her to have a bowel movement the remainder of the week,” Nurse Robinson told me, “but yes, she should be fine.”
“Oh, thank you,” I said, granting her full sainthood in that moment.”
When I went to see Mom again after 4:30, I told her of my conversation with the nurse. “Thank you for checking for me,” she told me. I kissed her hand and turned away as tears began falling once more. “No, Jeremy. Don’t. It’s okay. Really.” I couldn’t look at her. I was so ashamed of myself for hurting her like I had. “Please look at me, Jeremy, and allow me to explain something to you.” I finally did.
“Anal sex,” she began, “was going to be an eventuality between us.”
“I-It was?”
“It can be a really lovely experience when done right, Jeremy. I used to allow your father to perform it on me, but that was years ago. I had only recently begun stretching myself out again so I could make it available to you. What happened today was an accident, pure and simple. In fact, I’m willing to take responsibility for it because I wanted rough sex today. The bottom line is that this isn’t your fault, and we will one day have proper anal sex, if you like.”
“All I want right now is for you to get better,” I told her. “In fact, no more sex at all until you’re completely healed back there.”
“Yes, that might be for the best,” she agreed. “Oh, and just to let you know, as bad as it hurt, I did have an orgasm when you were back there.”
“Really?”
“When we do this the right way, you will bring me to many orgasms. I promise.”
Saturday came, and even though that was the night Mom was supposed to wear her lingerie, I made it a point to tell her it could wait. “Like I said, not until you completely heal.” She kissed me and thanked me for being a wonderful, thoughtful son. I told her I didn’t deserve that kind of praise right now.
Stephen and I attended another meeting with our colleagues. I explained what I had done to Mom and everyone was supportive of me. “That happened with my mother and I,” Elisa said, “only I was the one who got the unexpected rear door delivery.”
“How long did it take you to heal?” I asked.
“Roughly two weeks,” she replied. “Excuse my language, but every time I took a shit it felt like it was happening all over again.”
Silence, then Stephen said, “Period sex. Who’s doing it, and why?” Everyone laughed.
“I would like to bring something up,” I said to move away from the topic. “I have a friend who recently admitted at having a sexual relationship with his grandmother. What would be the rules for that as it pertains to this, us?”
“We are very literally a group of people who sleep with their mothers,” Ben Riggs said, “So I don’t know. Anyone else want to comment?”