The joking ended one evening, six months before I married Carol, when mom came into the kitchen as I sat with coffee and the paper. Mom said, “I saw the movies on your dresser when I brought your shirts in; did you leave them there because you wanted me to see them?”
I hesitated, “Maybe mom, I don’t know, I didn’t think of it that way, but probably I wanted you to know.”
“They’re all about the same thing, aren’t they Mickey? All about mothers and sons having sex.”
Not all of them mom,” I said, “Some are about mother’s and sons making love.”
She said, “Oh…” She waited and then said, “The one that was called ‘A Husband for Mom,’ does the son…marry the mother?”
“Well sort of,” I said, “They’re just fantasies mom, don’t you have them?”
“Sure baby, we all do. I just didn’t think that you were so serious about…thinking about us…like that.”
“I guess now you know mom. And what about you, we’ve been playing this game for a while between us. Just because we didn’t say anything doesn’t mean we both didn’t know. I always felt that you were thinking about something more between us, just like me.”
“I did…I do…think about, and this is all so crazy…talking to you about it, but I guess we can’t put the genie back in the bottle…”
“So then tell me mom, how do you think about us?”
She smiled, “My fantasy isn’t that ‘Fantastic.’ I’m a bit younger…and better looking,” she laughed. “And we live together, and love together. We take care of each other…and that’s all…we just love each other.” I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
“That’s a beautiful fantasy mom,” I said. “I love it.” I kissed her cheek and she trembled a little in my arms. “And by the way, mom, you couldn’t be better looking.” She let out a small explosive laugh that took with it the sadness. “Seriously mom, I remember how all my friends would look at you.”
“That was a long time ago,” she said.
“Mom, did you ever hear the story of the rich guy who has three girlfriends, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead?”
She was hesitant. “Uh, no…”
“Okay, so this guy decides he wants to get married and tests the three women to see which would be the best choice.” He says to all of them, ‘If I gave you ten thousand dollars, what would you do with it?’ The blonde says, ‘I would spend it on things to make me more beautiful for you.’ The brunette says, ‘I’d spend half on presents for me and half on presents for you.’ The redhead says, ‘I’d spend it all on you.’ So which one does he marry?”
Mom said, “I don’t know, which one?”
I said, “The one with the big boobs.” She laughed until all her tension was gone.
“Mom,” I said, “I told you that story because you still have boobs good enough for someone to marry you for.”
She slapped my arm and laughed again, and then after a moment said, “Oh God…” She held me in a way that seemed to be searching for answers and I responded with tender strokes on her back to tell her how I felt.
She said, “Mickey I’m so afraid, I’m dragging you into something I don’t know if I can do, all this talk is going to get us both crazy. Oh sweetheart, I just don’t know…anything.”