She hardly ever spoke about my father, but now it came out all at once. “I could tell him anything, any problem I had, and somehow he made it better, even if he didn’t do anything. He loved me, he held my hand, he made love to me and after the blink of an eye it was all gone. Mick, it was all in the blink of an eye.” I stopped what I was doing to talk to her, but she said, “NO, don’t stop, don’t stop.”
I took her other breast and as my lips and tongue worked the nipple, she continued talking. “But I know it’s okay now because I can put that in the past and I have part of him back, in you. And it’s wonderful because you’re also you, my beautiful boy that I love so much, the one who’s going to love me and the one I’m going to love. Mickey, that’s what I missed the most, having someone to love, someone to give to. Baby, come hold me.”
I took her in my arms and she held me tight. When we started I had thought we were finally about to have sex, but then I wasn’t so sure. I could wait. I had waited for years. And I knew by the way she was holding me that the time would come. And I wanted to allow her to say and do whatever she needed to make her comfortable with it.
“We should celebrate,” she said. “Tonight is so special … we shouldn’t waste a minute, just give a little time to get ready.” She left and I could hear her running a bath. I went to change and tried to think of a place we could go that would make her happy. I was in the sitting room when she came in.
I was astonished at how utterly beautiful she could look to me. The air filled with the perfumed powder she must have put on after her bath. She was dressed and ready, but not to go out. She had on a black negligee that didn’t hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. The thigh high silky stockings led my gaze to the black panties. I could hear the sheer nylon lightly rubbing as she walked. I looked again in disbelief at my mother’s breasts as they moved. The nipples were plainly evident and I couldn’t tell if they were naturally rosy or had been rouged.
She stood before me with an enigmatic smile and didn’t say anything. I said, “Wow,” and she smiled wider. Still a bit stunned, I said, “You did this for me.”
“Of course, I did it for you.” she said. “And do you know why?”
I hesitantly said, “Because you love me?”
“Of course I love you baby, and because you love me. I promised myself a long time ago that I was never going to bed again with someone who didn’t love me, and I haven’t. And that’s why it’s been so long for me, but now I have you and now I’m going to have what I’ve always wanted, and your going to have a mother that loves you in every way she can.”
“I love you too mom…and you want me to…?”
“Yes baby,” she laughed, “I want you to…everything.”
She came up to me and we kissed, a long hard searching kiss. I opened the negligee and tossed it aside. My mother stood bare-breasted and beautiful. “I’m so proud of you mom, I’m so proud that you’re my mom…I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you.” I didn’t know what to say. I still couldn’t believe that my mom was going to let me take her. But she was. She was going to let me take her, and take her, and take her.