She cut me short: “I am talking about the other visit.”
I had to think for a second before realizing that she meant Maria. “Oh, that. It was okay.”
“Okay.” She was very serious. “What do you mean okay?”
“How shall I put it?” I thought carefully before giving my answer. “It was sad.”
“Sad,” she seemed surprised. “How so?”
“You know how crazy I was about her. Well, I am still crazy about her, but it wasn’t the same. I used to think…no, I used to feel that my life ended with her loss, but now I can’t help but wonder why I used to feel that way, or rather that strongly.”
She just listened while looking at me, again with those vacant eyes of hers.
I continued: “I don’t think she is happy with her life, and I find that sad as well.”
“Well, it serves her right. She doesn’t deserve to be happy.”
I found her remark to be rather cruel, but I decided to let it go. I didn’t expect her to hold a grudge on my behalf, but apparently she did and she was feeling some sort of resentment towards Maria. I couldn’t help but notice that there was more to her seriousness and I couldn’t figure out what it could be or why it was that way.
I looked at her and found her deep in thought, staring at the nails of her right hand. Her hair was a little disheveled. I stood in front of her and moved one strand away from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. I asked: “What’s the matter, Cris? You look upset.”
She didn’t answer. Instead she bit one of her nails and dropped her hands to her knees. I felt like there was something she wanted to say, but couldn’t. Another strand fell and blocked her other eye. While I moved it away and tucked it behind her other ear, she reached forward with her hand and gently held the edge of my towel which was hanging in front of my thighs. I felt this sudden rush in my groin.
The way she had reached out nonchalantly and held the flap in her fingers, tugging at it a little, feeling the fabric, I found that to be very erotic. Whether my mind wanted to or not, my body responded and I felt some movement between my legs. The longer she held that flap, the more aroused I became and my cock stiffened along with it. I could see the towel rising slowly and steadily. Because she was sitting at almost eye level with it, I was afraid that she would probably notice my reaction. I didn’t want her to see my erection but at the same time I didn’t want her to move her hand away either.
She asked, softly: “So…how did it feel to be in her presence?”
I looked at her carefully before answering that question. Her interest in Maria wasn’t just casual. Apparently, she was fishing for something, but what, I could only guess. I guessed she didn’t want me to entertain any ideas of picking up with Maria, knowing that she was now married. Most likely she didn’t want me to get hurt again because it was quite devastating the last time.
But there was something else that troubled me. There was a shadow on her face that betrayed her emotions. If she didn’t want me to get hurt, all she had to do was to just come out and tell me to be careful. It seemed like she didn’t want me to feel about Maria the way I used to feel for some other reason; something deeper and more personal. It was almost like she was being territorial, but what gave her that right, I couldn’t fathom. Even her being territorial was rather passive; almost like she was hoping for me not to be interested in Maria any longer, but if I was, she would have to accept it.