That sent a pang through me. “NO IT WON’T!” I wanted to yell at her. My belly would forever be flat and would swell only with fat if I let myself go.
“Andy talked with Greg, and he’s so psyched about having another child,” Beth said.
Andy was an ex-Marine, and one of Greg’s oldest friends.
“Yeah,” I said with such lack of enthusiasm Beth squared me around and looked me in the face.
“Sara, I know lots goes on when you first get pregnant. Your body chemistry, your mental attitude … everything. And, it’s especially hard for you with Greg deploying so soon and leaving you alone. But, you have to do all you can to keep yourself healthy and sane. To keep yourself ready for Greg to come home. AND—he WILL come home. Andy’s sure of it. He said he heard that same indomitable will and fire in him that made him the superman all the guys relied on. He said that was missing for a while, but now it’s back. You can rely on that. Your husband’s magic. All the guys know it.”
“I need some of that magic here at home, Beth.” I didn’t tell her WHAT magic and in what form.
“You’re lucky you have Ronny,” Beth consoled. “He’s grown so much. He’ll fill in for Greg while he’s gone. Just rely on him more.”
I wondered what Beth would think if I told her how Ronny wanted to fill in—by knocking up his mom in his dad’s place. It sounded so absurd.
“You can’t let the stresses get to you. Remember, you can tell me anything. I’ve heard it all.”
“Thanks Beth! It means a lot to know you’re there for me,” I said.
“Especially in your condition! I’m so happy for you. You’ll look back and see this is the best time of your life!”
I don’t know much about the future usually, but I predicted with certainty I would NOT look back on today as one of my great moments.
*************************
I figured a long, hot bath would relax me and give me time to think after my workout. I didn’t call my usual “I’m home!” when I arrived. I didn’t even want to see Ronny again until I achieved some clarity.
I stripped off my exercise outfit, sports bra, and panties while the tub filled. I made it as hot as I could stand it, and when I eased in, it took my breath away, making me pant with a tingling burning of my skin until I became accustomed to it.
“Mmmm,” escaped from me as I luxuriated in the heat. It soothed my muscles and took my mind off my dilemma. With a facecloth and a bar of moisturizing soap, I sudsed up and scoured my skin roughly. The water went from clear to completely cloudy so I could no longer see my feet and legs.
This was a good idea. I was finally starting to relax. I slid my butt toward the drain, took a deep breath, and submerged my head, wetting my hair. I had the shampoo within reach above. I remained under the water, letting the heat and the fetal feeling of being again encased in protective fluid engulf me.
But, when I came up for air finally, Ronny was standing next to the tub. He was shirtless, dressed only in his sweatpants.
“Hi, Mom!”
“Ronny! How did you get in here? I locked the door!”
“You mean the lock where you use a pen to stick in the hole and push so it snaps the button out? I’ve known how to unlock that for a million years.”