“She’s not here right now. She had to go to get something for her job at a place that was hours away. She’ll be gone for the evening, back late.”
“I’ll phone.”
“NO!”
“Then I’ll get Susie and we’ll cheer you up in no time. Come on mom, you can’t be ‘Miss Misery’, and not love some company?” A paraphrase of her ‘Mr. Misery’ pep talks from my childhood. Instead of getting her to giggle as I expected the remark drew a grumble-mumble I didn’t catch. “What? Say again.”
Still a grumble-mumble, but clear enough the second time she voiced, “I don’t want Susan, either!”
I thought I was beginning to catch on now. “Is this about Shannon and Susie’s . . date?”
She looked up at me surprised. “You knew about that?”
I didn’t know if mom Danni knew about my being instrumental in the arrangement, so I went low key for the moment. “I sort of gathered that dad got . . a second pair of horns from your partner.” Now the humor worked and I got a chuckle.
“Yeah, but while I knew about it before hand, and even gave my permission, I didn’t . . I didn’t . . expect to feel jealous . . AND I DOOO!” Back to weeping as she burst into fresh tears with her outburst of a pitiable wail. I held her and shushed her and rocked her a bit. Kissed her forehead and caressed her hair, trying to calm her.
“You wanted to mess around with Susie too?” Now I knew this was not so, but it was a tactic to get her to open up about the dynamics, it wasn’t meant to be funny, and I immediately followed with, “No . . You don’t want Shannon to have temptation living up the block, too close to home. Huh? That it? Afraid that you will have to share Shannon with the woman that was your rival for your husband, back in the day. And now you are afraid another triangle will make things complicated again. Right?”
Mom Danni hugged me tight and kissed me on the lips and looked into my eyes and smiled, even. “How was I ever so lucky to have such a smart son, who sees right into the very center of things and identifies the heart of the matter?”
“Mom, you are just blessed, ’cause God loves you, and She sent me, then Shannon to love you and bring you the joy that you deserve. You helped me so many times when I had romantic issues and teenage angst. I learned from you about hearts and love and happiness. Now listen and pay attention. I know for a fact that was a special sort of, how does Shannon put it, that British expression she uses . . .”
“One off”
“Yeah, just a onetime only happening. Susie is not going gay or bi, she just wanted to see what you have found to be good, and now that she has gotten to try, she doesn’t have to wonder anymore. And Shannon, well, she had her own curiosity all these years, and now that has been taken care of. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but I think that a taste of the milk dish on the other side of the fence has satisfied both pussies in this case.”
“Jeez! Where the hell do you come up with those awful puns? You get that stinky shit from your dad.”
“Speaking of eating and dad. I happened to know that he has since learned to eat pussy! So Susie doesn’t lack for licking, if you will pardon my tongue in cheek,” mom Danni slapped my arm for that one, “to motivate her in jumping the fence like you, she gets the lapping at her lap all she wants now days.”